The following is text of an email I wrote a friend this morning who just lost his cat;she had been sick and had to put her down. Some names have been altered to protect identity. I thought it was important to share my sentiments on the humanity of animals because it is a huge dimension of the understanding of creation and who we are,In his email out he said that somehow pets make us more human. I emailed back compelled to explain how that is so. I didn't include a big piece of this which is that depending on the size of their own humanity persons, myself included sublimate a guilt as carnivores. After all we can kill to satisfy hedonistic food temptations, certainly not required for survival, if we say well they cant think, feel pain (imagine!!) or feel emotion. WRONG. They to more or less degrees cannot perceive self, and have a hard time articulating language they imitate. But my Tiffany could say CaWa. This last skill stymies and boxes in their communication...so its mostly touch. Please read on to see my thesis on this. Hope it rings true to you.
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Thank you David for writing. I gut 'knew' it was going to be yesterday and was concerned I'd not be informed til 'later on'. I was comforted to know you didnt have to go alone as I have most times. It can be a moment of madness without the right (important) support. And like I do, I am glad, she is getting a proper burial.
Father ALS had also written me when Tiffany died her tragic death and speaking of his dogs, that pets show us how to be more human. I take this abit further. I say as pets confront us with their own humanity unfettered by avoidance logic; they demonstrate real human capacity.
We associate the characteristics of loving, being loving, feeling and showing love, caring, being there for someone, being a child and needing care or being a parent and needing to care as a parent for a child, being affectionate, being helping, being intelligent, being scared, being content, being naughty and in the case of an only child-being depressed or lonely when mommy leaves them, missing mommy or daddy--with the emotions of a human. Its also the emotional capacity of cats very much so...and dogs and other animals of the animal kingdom... as it were "human emotions", and we who have a special need for them, a special affinity and bond to them..intuitively know this, but maybe do not cognitively accept although its considered generally taboo to say it. But its that which instinctively attracts certain of us to have them in our lives...Im single too, but it was so when I was married as well..my children so to speak.
So the question becomes what obscures this?... something most anthropologists know from living in their worlds. In some ways its very simple and some ways complicated.
First, of course they show us the humanly associated emotion of love with their body language instead of in English. Rubbing against us, coming without our asking and being with us in our hour of need like no one else in our lives. Sleeping with us, staring into our eyes, planting themselves on top of us when we are hurting. Because we dont speak the same tongue so they go right ahead show us love because they feel it. They are our children and 'persons' closest to in the whole world. Thats why we live with them. How many humans do that...ever?
Second animal societies--not all, have slightly different mores. Some mate and are completely monogamous for life (a fact some dont know), female cats are monogamous for life, and often their mates will have a dad of the litter sense, although not be totally in action. A female cat who becomes a mommy generally only mates with another if forced. They feel love for their mate- love and commitment. They dont need the piece of paper that many humans do.
Also female cats who never mate, like Tiffany who was spayed and others, will develop love crushes on a certain male cat, which can last an entire lifetime. I seen this with ever solo female I've had and I've had them my whole life. Tiffany sat every day and every night on a window ledge looking for a glimpse of Sylvester, a specific male cat, out of many in our neighborhood here in Queens, who lives with his mommy across the way of our yard. Her whole life. And Sylvester knew this love too, but being a real tom cat, he just couldnt give Tiff the love she wanted. But they would kiss when they met in the yard.
And in the days and weeks following her passing, I could not get Sylvester to stop coming, banging on my screen door, meowing at my window...I finally had to let him in..who had never been in my apt before, never banged at my doors before...so he could look in every nook and crevice for Tiff. It broke my heart. He finally found my bedroom closet where she used to hide...it took everything to get him out.
This is animal humanity, which we share in, except not killed by the human merit about not showing your heart on your sleeve.Its why elephants and lions will kill to protect their young, birds screech and attack when their babys are endangered, chimps and elephants cry and weep at the loss of family or parents. Its all coming from the same place, the God life in us. That animals have less self awareness capacity is why we can reflect on these and they cannot. But their lack of 'self' is also their lack of evil. Their human love and pain range of emotions freely given and freely expressed are why pets teach us how to be more human.
Do not shortcut your mourning for anyone's sake nor seek to resolve your pain by quickly moving onto the next although everyone is going to tell you to do this. Maggie was terribly special..keep her in your heart and you will know when its right.
The healing of our Lord and my blessings and friendship, Carol
